I'm eating my lunch. Fat free cottage cheese. At my desk. And I totally drop a spoonfull on my skirt. My new skirt. Any guess what dried wiped-off fat-free cottage cheese looks like on the front of one's skirt?

I have one word for you.

Semen.

And of course, it's right in the middle of my lap. Which means that when I stand up it's directly in front of my crotch. Looking like semen.

Oh yeah, I'm a rock star.

I hope no one's staring at me.